Instinct vs. Internal Wisdom

Life can get fast...I mean really fast. It's hectic sometimes and the whirlwind of the material world can set us asail in unintended directions if we're not careful. 

I recently broke my ankle, just 5 days after burning 23 years of my journals (on New Years Eve 2023) containing heavy tones of despair, loss, fear, etc. Yeah, there were sweeter tones tucked in the pages, but most of it was lamentations. Is it coincidence that I broke my ankle after such a freeing sacrament? I tend to think that it was not. In the usual course of celebrating a new year, I found myself making lists of things I wanted to achieve, activities to put in my calendar and ways I could become more physically fit, more financially secure, more spiritual and overall a better person. All seemingly positive with the desire to start the year off on the right foot. I suppose I DID start on the right foot as I broke my left ankle forcing me to put a lot of weight on my right foot. 

When the event happened, I had a moment of "oh shit! I just broke my ankle!" I limped the 1/4 mile or so home as I was hiking in the woods nearby with my dog. I thought, nah, I didn't actually break my ankle, but I knew. I heard it crack, LOUDLY. After confirming with x-rays that it was in fact broken, my course was set for the next 4-6 weeks. Friends and family said, it's a sign, the universe is telling you to slow down and rest. I thought, yeah, yeah, I rested for a few days over the holidays. That was enough. But I knew the break was a matter of pause for me, it just took me a couple of weeks to connect with the true meaning. Or at least the meaning that came to me. It was a walk in the snow with Lila (my dog), after a tough week that led me to prayer. I knew I was off course, again, and needed some direction. After coming inside, I felt a wave of understanding come over me. My mind is always fast, working on something, thinking about this or that. I have relied heavily in my life on instinct and intuition. It has generally served me well. But I have left precious little time for seeking internal wisdom. The kind of guidance that requires slowness...not just an hour of slowness, but weeks, maybe longer, at least initially. 

Instinct and intuition work well in a fast setting. Snap decisions, gut feelings all can draw on these insights from within. And, often they are fairly accurate. But, it's the bigger things, the deeper life path, the difficult decision or persistent challenges in life that benefit from internal wisdom. To tap into that wisdom, which we all have access to, we need to slow down. Not just for an hour to catch our breath, but for a period of time. Maybe days. Personally, when I go on vacation, it takes me a solid 2-3 days to actually unwind. I know that I'm not fully unwinding though because I have to return to the treadmill in a few days. But, I'm often able to glean some insights and wisdom during these escapes. How do we incorporate that into regular life? I know that I can't just go on vacation for a week every time things get tough. Somehow, I have to rely on instincts and intuition to keep me afloat until I can carve out some meaningful time to go within. Unfortunately, though, if we aren't aware of this need to slow down, we may find ourselves going months, even years without a pause. Maybe our bodies enforce a halt and at that point it's our choice how we will work with that opportunity. 

There is a whole business around retreats both in the non-secular and secular worlds. Health retreats, spas, yoga retreats, meditation retreats, vacation clubs, you name it. People recognize the need to slow down and reflect, and are often drawn to these opportunities. But, the question stands: how can you transfer the insights gained in a retreat or on vacation to your daily world? Without cultivating a regular mechanism for accessing internal wisdom and guidance, these retreats usually only provide fleeting peace. And the shorter they are, often the more limited the long-term benefits. I'm not saying that we shouldn't go on retreats. They can be powerful and give us a glimpse of another way of being. But, unless we use the retreats to create new habits when we return, we will find a law of diminishing returns. 

So, back to instinct versus internal wisdom. Stillness is tough in this day and age. With smartphones all but surgically attached to our hands we are in a tangled web of information and over-stimulation 24/7. We all know it - some may do more about it than others, but it's not easy to just disconnect, especially when we have kids, family members, jobs that depend on our digital presence. Taking time to be slow and internal may seem selfish in the grand scheme of life. But consider the possible benefits - could this time make us more patient, efficient, loving, compassionate, understanding, etc.? Would that be of benefit to all of life's stakeholders? Rather than reaching for a glass of wine in the evening to take the edge off and numb ourselves, might 20 minutes in silence each day provide more benefit? People complain, "when I'm in silence, my brain is going 100 miles per hour - I just can't turn it off.  I need something to numb or distract me." Fair enough. But consider the long-term investment of such a daily exercise. Studies have shown that silence and disconnecting from technology even for short periods of time on a regular basis can decrease stress, improve mental health and actually increase creativity. That's not so bad right? 

Silence helps us connect to a deeper wisdom. Something ineffable and ancient that seeps through the leathered shield of our consciousness to guide us in life. In vedic traditions, this inner wisdom could be compared to paramatma or supersoul, a spark of eternal energy that resides in our hearts next to our soul. We are spiritual beings by nature, but our absorption in daily life causes us to forgot our identity. Quieting our minds, or even just our environment, provides the opportunity to accesss our true nature. While the connection may be fleeting, each time we gift ourselves with that space, we are growing our internal awareness. We are improving communication channels to that internal wisdom.

Finding 20 minutes of silence regularly may be a challenge at first. Perhaps, it starts with a long shower or bath. Have you heard people say their best ideas come when they are in the shower? Well, that's why. It's a time of quiet and disconnection. We can capture moments of quiet if we are committed to the process. Even the busiest people can steal away for a few minutes each day - maybe even for a few minutes several times per day. With this intentional time, imagine the possiblities...the creativity...the peace that we could uncover.